Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Before & After

God Bless the person that invented gel.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Kyle, don't cry over spilt milk...

... unless, your mommy just tore your butt up for laying on your bed, and spitting it into the air, just so it can fall back down and hit you in the face.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Potty Time not meant to be confused with Party Time.

THIS is a nightmare. I can sum up potty training in one word: SUCKS! I've been going at it super hard & about to flip my lid. (Oh my gosh, I am saying things my grandma would say.) The boys are so freaking hard headed. Now, going in, I knew they would be the hardest. But geez, not THIS hard! Kyle won't set foot near the potty. But he's the sweetest little thing at refusing. I'll tell him, "Come on, Kyle. Let's go potty." And my little sweetheart says in his kindest voice, "No Thank You." Aw man, how do you force him on the pot after that? Well, Devin semi has it. He wants to wear undies. But won't sit on the potty. I know one thing, he's got a great bladder. He'll hold it all day and will not go. Then as soon as I get him off the potty chair, piss everywhere. And he hates it. He can't stand to be wet & pissy. Kyle, however, will walk around all day wet if I let him. But, at least they both want to wear underwear. Two months go, I couldn't even get them to do that! Baby steps I guess. So I've decided to start with the girl. I've heard girls pick it up so much faster. Lies! Lies, I tell you!! She does the worst of the worst. Poops in her undies. Ahhhh! This is not good for my already awful gag reflex. And she's either got it backwards, or she's a nocturnal potty trainer. Cause from 8:30pm to about 11:00pm, all I hear is, "Mooooooommy, Morgan go potty." And she does. She tells me everytime. And everytime, she pees. Now, come 8am, she won't tell me jack. ESPECIALLY when she has to poop. Little sneakster, she knows what she's doing. Cause she'll go hide in her room, shut the door and proceed to poopie. It's so gross. This is the mommy part I don't enjoy. If only I could clock out, and come back next shift when they've got it down. Any professional potty trainers out there that would like to take the reigns, have at it. In the meantime, sorry babe, hope you aren't expecting a clean house or dinner for awhile. Cause it ain't happening.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Monkey

You know how monkeys like to pick up their own poop an throw it? So does Devin.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

It's Debbie's Fault!

A very rare occasion happened today. Morgan and Devin took it upon themselves to sit on the potty today. Big deal, right? Yes it is! I have been trying to get these kids in some undies for months now. Man, I've tried it all. Videos, stickers, candy, and even bribes. Nothing. So I stuck a potty in the living room. Maybe if they see it, they'll play with it, learn it, and like it. So today, I was on the phone with my good ol' buddy, Debbie, and walk past Morgan and see her sitting on the potty. I was ecstatic. And Debbie, who knows my struggles, was on the phone to hear it all go down. Morgan had ripped off her pamper and sat there on the potty. Even Devin was standing in front of her trying to get his pamper off too. Being the sweet sister she is, Morgan went ahead and ripped it off for him. Meantime, I'm still on the phone with Debaroo. Now, me and her talk just about everyday. And each conversation is as though we haven't seen each other in years, and are just catching up. Which, does not work to my advantage. I learned, the hard way, that I probably shouldn't be on the phone with her during vital times of the day. Like, when the kids are awake. Anyway, when I realize there's one potty, and two willing kids, I quickly whisk them off to the bathroom. And there they sat. Side by side.
"Now sit there together and go potty," I say. "Mommy will be right back".
I went back to the living room and got distracted by my friends great conversation. So great, that I forgot what we were talking about. (Sorry Deb - I still luv ya). Well shoot, if you had a night like mine, you'd forget too! Maybe 5 minutes later I remember the kids on the potty. Well, what reminded me was the constant giggling. I figure I betta go check this out. Yes, Debbie was still in tow. Moral of the story:
Get Yo Butt Off The Phone And Tend To Yo Children!!
And here's why...

Upon walking to the restroom I smelt the sweet scent of mango & papaya. Knowing that's not what poop smells like, I knew something was up. Then I see Devin's head.

Look at that 'Oliver' face. "Please may I have some more porridge?" Sorry. Couldn't resist.

One question. Okay, two. How did he get the shampoo bottle? And, where's Morgan? I'm thinking accomplice.


Thanks Deb. Thanks a lot. Call me tomorrow.