Thursday, January 7, 2010

Fat girls can move fast, too.

Today I have proven that fat girls can run, too. And I mean hustle. Of course I did not do this by my own free will. It was adrenaline induced. Why? Oh, I'll tell you why. Devin came up missing. Missing, I tell ya. Gone. As in under no bed, in no bathroom, in no closet, not in the backyard, not in the front yard. Doors were locked still. Windows are shut. Where in the hell is my kid? Fear sets in. Someone took him. But how? The doors are locked. Oh my gosh, my worst fears have come true. Devin! Deeeeevin! OH, Deeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvin. Devin!! DEVIN!! DEEEEEEVIN! Now Morgan and Kyle are crying. Why? Because momma is crying. Celeste, I can't find Devin. But, he was just in here with me a few minutes ago. Well now he's gone.
Now everybody's looking. Me, Morgan, Kyle, and Celeste. So I run outside. And I mean run, book it to the corner. No sign of a wandering kid anywhere. Then I hear Celeste scream... 'I found him! Hurry, mom! Come quick!' More fears set in. Why do I have to hurry? Is he hurt? CALL 911 Celeste!!! So, I get there and this damn girl is smiling. Smiling. Why are you smiling? THIS IS NOT FUNNY!! Now she's laughing. Which infuriates me. I'm still in panic mode. Where is he??? She leads me to a room. And this is where the little turd is...."

6 comments:

jag said...

I'm so sorry you were upset. I can only imagine! But, DANG, that was funny!

Kristen and Kiko said...

LMAO! I can only imagine the panic and worry..but that's too funny! :)

themomdiggity said...

I got spanked for hiding in a suitcase.

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious...after the fact. ;)

Unknown said...

Omg lmmfaooo. You tell stories so well I couldn't stop reading he's just too darn cute!!!

Unknown said...

Omg you tell stories so well. I didn't want to stop reading the end was too adorable he's so darn cute!